E-mail Time~! Part Two

Patron comes back and actually throws her ID at me: Here’s my ID!

I create a guest pass and hand it to her after explaining how to log in.

Patron walking away towards computers: I’m going to need help printing!

Me: Okay. Just let me know when you’re ready to print.

Patron after logging on yells from her computer: I need help the computer isn’t working!

Me (walks over): What’s the problem?

Patron( types email as an URL): Why isn’t it working?!

Me: Miss…your Gmail isn’t a website you. You have to go to google to log in.

Patron: My email isn’t google! It’s gmail!

Me: Google runs gmail…

Patron: No it doesn’t!

After arguing with me for a couple of minutes she finally listened. Now, she’s trying to log into her email but typed it incorrectly.

Patron: I typed this wrong!

Me: Just hit backspace.

Patron (highlights what she typed and starts clicking around): Its not working!

Me: Hit the backspace button on your keyboard.

Patron (keeps highlighting and clicking around): This is crazy! It’s not working!

Me: Hit the backspace button. Right there.

Patron is still clicking around the page: This isn’t working! Why isn’t this working? I’ve never had so many problems!

Me: Hit. The. Backspace.

Patron continues to ignore me and repeatedly highlights her screen.

Me: Backspace on the keyboard.

Patron (finally hits backspace): Oh, look I did it. I figured it out!

Me (ready to rip my hair out and thinking): Somebody help me….

E-mail Time~! Part 1

Patron: I need to log onto my email!

Me: Okay. Are you logged onto a computer?

Patron: No.

Me: Okay, computers are right over there. You need a library card or photo ID to log on.

Patron: I forgot my photo ID but I was here yesterday. You remember me!

Me: No…I need photo ID or a library card.

Patron: You can’t just make me one?

Me: No, I need ID.

Patron gets angry and storms out of the room.

Me (thinking): I wasn’t even here yesterday…


Library Books… Not for Sale

Patron comes in to renew book for son.

Patron: How much are books here?

Me: The books in our Used Book Nook are $1 for paperback and $2 for hardcover.

Patron: But you can’t buy this one? (holds up renewed library book)

Me: No.

Patron: Oh, because my son is going to need it for a while…

Me: ……

Me (Thinking): That’s what bookstores are for.

Hazardous Waste

So, one day I’m going into work and I find a van with a huge tube coming out of the back leading into the front entrance of the library. My first thoughts were “What the heck is that?!” and “What happened?!” Knowing I would soon find out, I made my way inside.

I had my late lunch, an egg and cheese wrap, half in my mouth when I approach the main desk. My eyes pop out of my head when they discover men in hazmat suits quarantining the bathrooms! My supervisor is standing in the back office observing them. I walk in and ask her what is going on? And is it safe to be in here? She tells me I might not want to being eating for this story. I shrug and tell her to shoot anyway.

A couple hours previous to my arrival it was very busy at our Main Desk. A patron had interrupted the line to ask one of the ladies working to be let into the bathroom. (We had a “buzzing in” system. Buttons that unlock the doors to the bathroom.) She had told him to wait one moment because she was in the middle of something. He gave her an attitude and went towards the bathrooms. When she was done with her task at hand she turned to let him in but the man was gone. However, he left a…”present” on the carpet in front of the men’s bathroom. Somehow this man managed to elude the cameras and all the staff after leaving his… droppings.

The exterminators (obviously) had to remove the “hazardous waste” as well as the surrounding carpet. And that is why we now have tile in front of our rest rooms.

We also have to sign in people ourselves and hand them a key. So, shout out to the guy who ruined an easy bathroom policy. Now my hands are dry from using too much hand sanitizer thanks to you!

License to Compute

Patron: I’d like to use the computer.

Me: Okay, do you have a library card?

Patron: No, I’m from out of state.

Me: Well, do you have a photo ID? I can issue a guest pass for you.

The patron shows his driver’s license and I issue a guest pass, giving him the instructions on how to use the Guest ID to log into the computer.

A few minutes later the patron comes back up to my desk and says he cannot log in and the ID is invalid.  I go over to his computer to help and before I can help, he is already typing in his Driver’s License number for the ID and when it fails, he looks at me asking why it didn’t work.

Me: Sir, you have to enter the ID that’s on the guest pass I gave you.

“Do You Want My Card?”

Checking out books to patrons is one of the easiest tasks of being a Librarian.  It can also be one of the more enjoyable aspects of the job when you begin to talk about books with them.  Sometimes the process is interrupted by having to renew a patron’s account or they have to pay a fine, but usually this part of the job goes without issue.

However, there is one thing that really bothers me when a patron comes up to check out.

There are times, and this happens way too often for my liking, when a patron places their books (or DVDs) on the desk and will stand there staring at me for at least a minute before they ask…

“Oh, do you want my library card?”

Um… yes!  That’s why you have the damn thing!  To check out items!

I mean really, you don’t go up to a register in a store, place your items on the counter and once the cashier rings them up you ask if they want you to pay for it.  Granted, the process is reversed in a library – you give us your card, then we check out the books – but it’s common sense people!  You are in a library!  We need your card to check out your items.

Again, that’s why you get a card in the first place.

Freaky Friday

So, I have been a Librarian for almost four years now and I would like to say that nothing surprises me…but that’s simply not true. People blow my mind, daily, with their stupidity.

Fridays at our library are notorious for being… bizarre. Some “Freaky Friday” examples are a disgruntled patron stole our doorbell, a crazed man stripped down in the middle of the stacks, and a drunkard ran screaming into a bookshelf. (One of us will totally elaborate on another post.)

Today was no exception to the usual chaos. A patron actually got upset with me because our audio discs would not play on his cassette player. YUP. He actually flipped out because audio discs are CD’s, not cassettes. At first, he did not understand what I was saying. He kept bickering with me that it would work. The conversation was going in a consistent circle of me repeating myself until he finally comprehended what I was saying. Then he seemed to think it was my fault that we did not carry cassettes?? He even slammed down the audio books and said he’s “Pretty sure these won’t work on his cassette player.” Obviously. I said that fifty times already. Honestly, after he walked away and I just stared blankly at my computer screen like, “Did that really just happen?”

Another thing. I never understand how patrons get angry about their fines? Like you were the one who neglected to bring books back, lost some, and let these fines accumulate over time. Yes, you do have to pay them and no, I am not a bitch trying to rob you. You’re the one who robbed the library by not paying your over a hundred dollars worth of fines, thanks.

Like this woman actually got mad at me because of the fines on her account. That is not my fault, I’m just telling you what my computer says. And if you “don’t wanna pay for that shit.” That’s great. GTFO and have a lovely day.

I could go on… but I’ll leave it for another post. Hope y’all enjoyed my “Freaky Friday”.